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Ferrari... Lamborghini...Isabella Rossellini... Who hasn't wanted something hot, fast and Italian to grovel about underneath? Sexist?

Quite possibly. Sexy? Most definitely! And so it is with Italian bouldering ace Mauro Calibani's company E9 a name as redolent of outrageous ambition as finding your way through Rome at rush hour.

Rover... Morris Minor... Anne Widdecombe... We British do self- deprecation better than anyone, if that's not pipping my own horn too much. Keeping the British big end up in the trouser department is MoonÉ Ben Moon. I've never wanted to get into Ben's pants... until now!

Also on the test track this week: Mountain Hardwear have got your nuts (... and bolts) covered with their Escalade pants; The North Face have a pair called Motoring pants (brilliant) and the Lost Arrow Bunter pants make my wife's arse look fabulous ... like she used to make my big shirts and baggy jumpers look so sexy, so they're a winner.

The diamond-shaped crotch panel is the universal joint of trousers - strap one into any pair of strides and you can go climbing in them. But the devil is in the detail, so we tossed a truckload of trousers to our tame tester to put the pants through their paces...

Some say he's the result of a one-night-stand between a squirrel and a chimpanzee and that his prehensile toes allow him to climb pocketed limestone in bare feet. All we know is that he's called the Sprag...

Metolius
Dyno Pant £45
www.beyondhope.co.uk

The North Face
www.thenorthface.com
<< Paramount Utility Pant £45

Motoring Pant £42 >>

Mountain Hardwear
Stockist: 01572 724499
Escalade Pant £50

Lost Arrow
Bunter Pants £52
Stockists:
www.allcord.co.uk

Moonclimbing
www.moonclimbing.com

Moon Cipher Pant £50

E9 www.e9uk.com

                                                                                                          Paco >> £60

<< Montone £55

Prana
Stretch Zion Pant £43
www.beyondhope.co.uk

LEADERBOARD

RATING           MODEL        PACE NOTES
9.9                  Montone       Very soft cotton; elasticated waist + tie; stud & velcro fly;
                                              3 pockets, rear velcroed; adjustable elastic cuff;
                                              2 toothbrush holders

9.8                  Motoring       Very soft cotton; stud & zipped fly; 4 pockets, all open;
                                              no turn-ups or cuff elastic; 2 toothbrush holders; no diamond crotch!

9.4                  Cipher          Durable but soft poly-cotton; elasticated waist + tie; no fly;
                                              3 pockets (2 zipped with studded flaps!, rear studded) adjustable elastic cuffs

8.5                  Bunter          Light cotton; low waist; stud & zipped fly; integral belt;
                                             4 pockets, all open; no turn ups or elastic cuffs

7.6                  Dyno            Very light nylon; stud & velcro fly; integral belt; 3 pockets (one at side, velcroed);

                                              reinforced seat and knees; no turn ups or elasticated cuffs

7.5                 Paramount  Light nylon; button & zipped fly; 5 pockets (rear 2 open, 1 front zipped;

                                             buttoned turn-ups

7.3                 Zion              Stretchy nylon; ventilated crotch; 5 pockets (1 rear zipped, 2 front zipped) integral belt;

                                             stud & velcro fly; press-stud turn-ups

7.2                 Paco             Soft cotton; (dreadful long-shank) button & velcro fly; adjustable elastic cuffs;

                                             4 pockets, rear 2 buttoned

7.1                Escalade      Tough nylon; integral belt; stud & zipped fly; 3 front pockets, 1 zipped;

                                             material drags when high stepping; fussy stitching; adjustable elastic cuffs

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